Psychothérapeute, Luc Geiger est l'auteur de La solution NERTI, une technique simple permettant de se libérer de ses phobies et de ses blocages émotionnels.
Dans son nouveau livre consacré à la recherche du partenaire idéal, il dévoile la méthode qu’il a lui-même expérimentée avec succès dans sa vie privée pour vivre sa plus grande histoire d’amour, qui dure depuis 16 ans. Il a ensuite utilisé ce protocole pour aider les personnes qui sont venues le consulter dans son cabinet.
Pourquoi avoir écrit ce livre ?
J’ai eu beaucoup de demandes ces derniers temps, venant de mes proches ou dans mon cabinet, sur la problématique de « comment rencontrer quelqu’un qui me correspond vraiment ». Je me suis dit que c’était un sujet important. Après le COVID, la distanciation sociale, beaucoup de personnes se trouvent en échec dans leurs relations amoureuses. Avec les applications de rencontre qui se multiplient, les gens sont rapidement déçus car cela ne correspond pas à ce qu’ils cherchent. Certaines personnes sont désespérées, d’autres restent avec un partenaire « faute de mieux ». Je trouve cela dommage. Comme j’ai moi-même utilisé un protocole qui a fonctionné et que je l’ai ensuite utilisé en cabinet, je me suis dit que des gens en avaient besoin et qu’il fallait le publier. Certaines personnes sont d’accord pour rester seul(e) parce qu’ils ont une passion qui remplit leur vie, mais c’est une minorité.
Votre livre propose de dresser une liste de ce que nous avons besoin de trouver chez un partenaire idéal. Cela suppose de bien se connaître… Faut-il faire un travail sur soi avant de chercher un nouveau partenaire ?
Pas forcément, il suffit de bien s’écouter. Dans le livre, il y a des questions du protocole, pour aider le lecteur. Par exemple, qu’est-ce qu’on a aimé dans les relations précédentes ? Qu’est-ce qu’on n’a pas envie de revivre ? Ensuite, il faut faire le tri entre ses besoins et ses désirs. Par exemple, certaines personnes ont besoin d’être câlinées, touchées physiquement. Certains ont besoin d’être en relation avec leur partenaire tous les jours avec des messages, alors que d’autres peuvent rester plusieurs jours sans se parler. Les besoins sont essentiels, car moins on s’occupe de ses besoins, plus ils prennent une place importante et deviennent une préoccupation centrale.
Une séparation est-elle forcément un échec ?
Non, car il y a des relations qui ne sont pas saines, voire toxiques, on ne peut pas s’en satisfaire. Inversement, quand une relation est satisfaisante, elle fait du bien ! Une histoire d’amour est comme un voyage, elle peut être courte ou longue. Considérez-vous qu'un voyage de courte durée est moins réussi qu'un long voyage ? Non, bien sûr... De la même façon, c'est sa qualité et non sa durée qui fait la grande histoire d'amour... Et vous ? Ça vous dirait d'en vivre (ou revivre) une ?
Pour en savoir plus : Votre partenaire idéal n'attend que votre autorisation pour vous rencontrer
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